Hey dear ones,
I’m rereading my journal entries from this week as I decide what to write about. It’s been a really emotional week. I’ve spent the most time alone since…I don’t know, it’s been a while. I’ve been cat sitting for my friend Sadie, and soaking up time to read and write and sing and cry.
With everything happening in the world (and here in Minneapolis), as well as my own period of being in structureless limbo, I’ve been feeling things, a lot more than I’m used to feeling. I am grateful for it, and it scares me.
Growing up as an only child, I spent a good amount of time alone, and was very comfortable with it. Now, since going to college, having roommates, and being a social butterfly, I don’t give myself much time to be alone. I realized this week that I’ve gotten so used to being around people and prioritizing things that involve other people, that I’ve become way less comfortable being alone than I used to be. And when I am alone, I always feel I ought to be doing something. Being alone and doing nothing (productive) is really difficult for me.
But this week I found myself reading a lot, mostly novels.
I started Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano on Saturday and finished it Sunday, weeping most of the way through. It’s a beautiful novel about a family of four sisters in Chicago and a basketball player (some of it set at Northwestern, my alma mater). The stories about family dynamics, intimacy, parent-child relationships, and love hit so hard.
On Monday I jogged to the library and sat there for a while, reading snippets of The Evolution of God, and a book about mothers. I checked out a collection of Octavia Butler stories, and just finished Kindred.

Aside from reading and crying this week, Charlotte & I played the cutest folk show and square dance in Olli’s backyard on Friday.
I got a burger at a dive bar with Mikey on Saturday.
I went to the anti-war theater fest on Sunday, which my friends organized. The idea behind it was that everything was written and rehearsed that weekend, starting Friday, and was performed Sunday night.
It made me reflect on the challenge of making meaningful political art. I’m realizing that for art to be moving, it’s usually not as easy as having a message to share, and writing it explicitly into a play. So much of organizing is about sharpening your pencil: having clear, simple, actionable messages and strategies, and taking steps to make them happen. But the best art, in my opinion, is not the type that preaches messages outright, or even metaphorically, but that opens the door to questioning: why? how did we come to be this way? how do we change ourselves? how to we see ourselves in another’s shoes? what makes us human?
It’s such a complicated time we are living in, and I think all sorts of types of art and organizing are needed. I’m recognizing my tendency and desire to work on the level of paradigm shift, within myself and through my art.
On Tuesday I rehearsed with Mikey, Satchel, and my new friend Jackie, for an EP (!?!) of my original songs that we’ll be recording next week!!!! VERY exciting. Can’t wait to tell you more.
On Wednesday I went to see Jackie play at the Turf Club (office building in downtown MPLS) during lunchtime, then went to the actual Turf Club (bar in St. Paul) where I saw some pals play a show. I was feeling pretty antisocial though, so I sat in a corner reading Octavia Butler (nerd!).
Today I had a good long conversation with Satchel over a puzzle. Allll my relationship traumas/patterns/desires/needs are surfacing. I’ll spare you the details, but I’m grateful to be able to sit down with someone and hash out all this stuff. I cried most of the day but I feel better now with this new clarity and shared alignment.
I’m leaving Minneapolis again in two weeks. I’m excited for the adventures to come, and excited to have some purpose/structure again. But I am mourning leaving behind this place, these people, this time to be.
Okay, that’s it for now. I love y’all. I hope you’re finding awe and mystery in this strange world we’re living in.
Love,
Lucy
oo awaiting the EP!
The haircut slays. xx.